Turning off the Noise Inside Your Head

That infernal, internal tape deck telling you all of the bad news for today, next week, ten years from now.
Sometimes it's something small like you forgot to feed the fish this morning but it's going to keep running in your head reminding you what a moron you are and how dire the consequences are going to be. Other times it may be an anxiety attack detonator, prodding you constantly so you know that doom and death are very near.

Without getting into much detail, I'm going to offer one basic relaxation technique followed by the parry to the internal dialogue. Becoming involved in the right now and simply being is the key to finding peace.

Relaxing
First, as with all relaxation techniques, breath deeply in through the nose as you count (1-2-3-4), hold that breath (1-2-3-4), breathe out through your mouth(1-2-3-4). Repeat as many times as you can comfortably but I suggest six as a minimum. You'll notice the fog lifting and your heart rate slowing, that's what we're going for.
In future sessions practice try to increase your count.
This one is best performed lying down but can be used from any position. Assuming you're in an environment where you can grab a few minutes of down time, scrunch up your whole face as much as possible, hold that scrunch for a couple beats and relax your face. Move down to your neck and repeat the same tension and release method. Continue down to the shoulders, upper back (bring your shoulder blades back tight), arms and so on down the body all the way to your toes.

Observing
Without making any judgements whatsoever or internally saying "I'm not making any judgements", simply observe your thoughts for a few moments. This is perhaps the most difficult to learn since it involves some dissassociation between your "self" (who you actually are) and your ego, the part of your mind trying to run the show. Stick with it without frustration. Let some thoughts pass and ask yourself "I wonder what my next thought will be?". Doing this you
are breaking into that stream of chatter and pressing the pause button. This is stage one of becoming an observer to the tape deck rather than the participant in the tape deck's incessant lecture.

You may practice this several times before you get what your looking for, which is silence in your head however brief that may be. Three seconds, one second, thirty? Doesn't matter and skip the judgemental ego who is trying to tell you that you aren't making any progress.

Success
When you find that moment or two of silence and clarity you can rest assured you are well on your way to peace using this technique.

Quick Version
See the breathing instructions above, they are required for the quick version as well. This works while driving, in the office, at home - wherever. It's a shorter version and starts with the face scrunch, followed by slowly rolling your head in big lazy circles first one way then the other. Follow this with squeezing the shoulder blades in tight, holding and releasing. This forces your body to momentarily relax and you can get to the observation part of the technique. As an alternative to the "I wonder what my next thought will be" submit this to your inner tape deck: try to think about both the Empire State Building while counting backwards from ninety nine.

Follow Up
Like all things you want to excel in, this requires practice to get started on that road less traveled. Once you've achieved that first moment of simply being right here, right now, subsequent journeys will give more and more time and better results sooner.

Questions
Is this entering an altered state? You could say that in the sense you have recovered control of your mind for a bit, that it is altered from the normal state of internal chatter but in a broader sense, no. You're not drifting off to sleep, under hypnosis and so on. If anything, you will find you are more aware and able to focus on your tasks at hand.

Suggested Reading
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle    
Great read, lots of insight, I don't agree with everything he says yet there is certainly something for everyone who reads it

The Tibetan Book of the Dead        
Not what you think it is

Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai - Yamamoto Tsunetomo    
Fantastic existential read on samurais and their "seconds", full of wisdom and stories

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Now and Zen - The Broken Glass

How many times have you gotten upset because someone wasn’t doing their job, because your child isn’t behaving, because your partner or friend isn’t living up to his or her end of the bargain?

How many times have you been irritated when someone doesn’t do things the way you’re used to? Or when you’ve planned something carefully and things didn’t go as you’d hoped?

This kind of anger and irritation happens to all of us — it’s part of the human experience.

Several things that irritate me are when people talk during a movie, cut me off in traffic, chew with their mouth open, and mangling the pronunciation of words like "nuclear" and "jewelry". Actually, I have a lot of these little annoyances — don’t we all?

It isn’t always easy to find peace when you’ve become upset or irritated.

Let me let you in on a little secret to finding peace of mind: see the glass as already broken.

The cause of our stress, anger and irritation is that things don’t go the way we like, the way we expect them to. This is all part of our need to control or micro-manage every facet of our lives and environment. How many times this has been true for you?

And so the solution is simple: expect things to go wrong, expect things to be different than we hoped or planned, expect the unexpected to happen and accept it.

Here's a suggestion for complete reboot of your mindeset with respect to disappointment. Expect things to go wrong — they always do. Remind yourself and those around you to see it as part of the adventure.

This works like a charm. When you inevitably take the wrong exit on the interstate, or when it rains on the day you go camping, or you forget your cellphone and realize it halfway to work; just remind yourself that it’s part of the adventure! You'll find yourself increasingly less bothered by life's hurdles.

So, when the nice glass you bought inevitably falls and breaks, someday, you might get upset. But not if you see the glass as already broken, from the day you get it. You know it’ll break someday, so from the beginning, see it as already broken. Be a time-traveler, or someone with time-traveling vision, and see the future of this glass, from this moment until it inevitably breaks.

When it breaks, you won’t be upset or sad — because it was already broken, from the day you got it. And you’ll realize that every moment you have with it is precious.

Expect your child to mess up — all children do. And don’t get so upset when they mess up, when they don’t do what they’re “supposed” to do … because they’re supposed to make mistakes.

Expect your partner to be less than perfect. Expect your friend to not show up sometimes.

Expect things to go not according to plan.

Expect people to be rude sometimes.

Expect coworkers not to come through sometimes.

Expect roommates not to wash their dishes or pick up their clothes, sometimes.

Expect the glass to break.

And accept it.

You won’t change these inevitable facts — they will happen, eventually. And if you expect it to happen — even see it as already happening, before it happens — you won’t get so upset.

You won’t overreact. You’ll respond appropriately, but not overreact. You can talk to the person about their behavior, and ask them kindly to consider your feelings when they do this … but you won’t get overly emotional and blow things out of proportion.

You’ll smile, and think, “I expected that to happen. The glass was already broken. And I accept that.”

You’ll have peace of mind. And that, my friends, is a welcome surprise.

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