Giving Your Power Away

Wisdom from my Dad:

Some years ago it was the highlight of the summer to catch fireflies, or lightning bugs as we call them in the south, and collect them into a jar. The goal of course was to attempt to fill the jar as full as possible and theoretically have a nature made lantern of sorts.

Dad was careful to point out that keeping them very long in a jar was hazardous for the the 
bugs. "Well what if I put a lid on it with holes in it?", I asked. He answered that even so the 
fireflies wouldn't be able to breathe and their light would dim and eventually go out. 

I remember one particular summer we were at my aunt's house downtown and not far from where I live now. One of the kids in the field came prepared with a small mason jar and a lid with pre-made holes. I tried to pass that information along about keeping the lightning bugs in a jar but he 
nearly refused saying they were HIS lightning bugs and he wanted to keep them in the jar. True 
to form, the little bugs' lights began to dim and he, beginning to become upset, opened up the 
jar and set them free. As soon as that jar had opened the lights grew brighter and more frequent 
as they, one by one, made their way back out into the world.

It's all to often that we allow other people or situations to dim our light.  We allow ourselves 
to conform to what others want or what appears to be acceptable in society.  The problem is, we are not being TRUE to ourselves.  Our light becomes dimmer and dimmer, and something inside of us dies.  Perhaps it’s passion, imagination, desire, or inspiration.  Nonetheless, it dies.

We give our power away when we seek approval from others and when we hold back our truth because we are afraid of not fitting in…not fitting in with others, or perhaps with what society deems ‘right’.  When we accede to another's ridiculous demands, we're giving away our power. When we allow our innermost desires and passions to take backseat to society or someone else's ideals we are giving away our power.

We can free ourselves by being true to ourselves and honoring our feelings.  Most importantly, we can empower ourselves and brighten our own light by never giving our power away in the first place.

If you’ve given your power away to another person, a co-worker, a boss or even a job, take it 
back! Take your power back by doing what feels right.  Stop hoping that others are going to 
change and that you will wake up from this horrible dream.  Take your power back and make your 
dreams become your reality, whatever dreams you may have.



You deserve it.  You are AMAZING.  Open the jar.

Thanks, Dad

That's me at Dad's knee

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Online Dating Advice - Your Profile

If you have good game, maybe.

Dating on the internet is like applying for a job. Your dating personal is much like a resume. In this article we will discuss online dating and how to use dating personals to provide precise information about who your are and what you are looking for.

Dating on the internet is like applying for a job. Your dating personal is much like a resume. In this article we will discuss online dating and how to use dating personals to provide precise information about who you are and what you are looking for.

Channel your inner alpha male. Here is the deal, many dating sites contain thousands and thousands of members. These are people who do not want to go to bars and take their chances finding a partner. Many of them are lonely and looking for companionship. Still others are professionals who are to busy to play the dating game.

So they join a dating service and go online looking for people to date. What do you do to get noticed?

1. Your dating personal is a profile about you. Unlike people who strengthen their resume to enhance their chances of getting a job, you owe it to your potential dating partners and yourself to be honest. If you stated that you have a lot to offer someone they need to know what you listed about yourself is the truth.

2. Spend as much time as you need to think about everything good about yourself that you can come up with. It all starts with a headline that catches the attention of a potential dating partner and draws them into your profile. You can do this without being corny. Headlines such as are you looking for a soul mate might be a little deep for someone browsing. My personal favorite was "Runs With Scissors", it suggests an edginess and a sense of humor.

Online Dating Advice

3. You see dating personals in the newspaper and in a magazine. Reading those personals can give you an idea on how to write a good one yourself. Being interesting will help make a person want to get to know you. Keep it light, not too many personal details and please, no drama or bashing your former dating life/ exes. Inject some humor and happiness.

4. We talked about being honest, but you should also be factual. Stating facts take the emotion out of writing a personal which is good. If you have climbed Mount Everest by all means let everyone know. These are the type of things that can help you stand out. Keep your profile as unique as you are - here is one I used back in the day:

"You found me. Here I am, just testing the waters to see who is out there. I really enjoy meeting people in the real world but am giving online a try. I'd like to find that beautiful type of relationship where life can be shared on a deeper level. I’m looking for someone who is genuine, intelligent and has a good sense of humor - being genuine is very important for me. An ideal long-term relationship is easy to maintain, involves lively discussions, engages our friends and family around us, contains laughter and a mutual pursuit of our passions.

I am smart, fun, authentic, affectionate, and love to try new things. You could say that I am a true "man's man", with my priorities in order and I know how to treat a lady. I balance professionalism and fun in all of life's adventures. I work hard and am very close with my family and friends.

At work I'm creative and driven. I've founded my own business and have ideas for a few more. I get to do many creative things, and love every second of it. Few things are more rewarding then bringing your own idea to life.

I'm always up for trying new things and rarely afraid to take risks in life. In fact, I thrive on it. 

A perfect night for me is getting my family together and cooking a nice dinner for everyone. I try to always remain positive and be in a good mood. I like to go out and have a good meal over stimulating conversation. In terms of going on dates, I am not very hard to please. As long as I am spending quality time with my significant other, I am a happy guy. I believe in karma and that you should always treat others how you would like to be treated. 

I am looking for a a woman who is fun loving and spontaneous. Some other characteristics I am looking for include: independence, sense of humor, career driven and trustworthy. 

I've  traveled many places and, while I don't travel as much now, I will for the right person. Do you love to travel too?

Write me if you have any level of interest... Let's see where it goes. I love a woman who initiates."

Online Dating Advice Your Profile

Most people are a bit hesitant to post personals or meet someone who has advertised in them, for fear that the person could be a stalker or even worse. Although people have to be careful when it comes to blind dates, those who place personal ads are basically people looking for some company.

Internet dating can help by doing screening of their members before they let them create a profile. This is the place to find online dating personals today. Go online and create a good one of yourself. Then start looking for ones that appeal to you.



Simple enough, right? Makes Total ManSense to me.

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10 More Reasons Guys Break Up With Girlfriends

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Men, if you've had your heart broken you're really going to relate to this one, my second article on men breaking up with 

women. Your mileage may vary but you'll see these common factors as reported by men - reasons he dumped his girlfriend.

Ladies, this is a good time to listen if you've faced this problem.





1. She doesn't listen. 
When a man says something in the forest and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong? When a guy is talking, give him a chance to speak his mind without interruption. Listen to what he says as in actually hearing, processing and considering what he's saying. One common problem today is a man is made to feel that he doesn't know what he's talking about. Men may not always be right, but we do have opinions, and it frustrates us to no end when you act like our opinion doesn't matter. Why would he stay with you?

2. Friends weigh in too much. 
Cool, you have a galpal/confidant, maybe several, we get it. We have buddies we confide in as well. We can go with the girls' night out deal if it's not more common than your time spent with us. When you start letting your buddies (who constantly run guys off or have recurring relationship problems) get into the business of your relationship, that's asking for trouble. You expect that your man has a mind of his own when he's out with the guys, right? Same expectation for you. Just be careful what you decide to bring back from those conversations.

3. All in the family. 
We like when you are close to your family and we're not trying to monopolize the time you want to spend with them. This isn't a kidnapping. Here's the thing: you left the nest (you are old enough to do this, right?) so let's keep what goes between us just between us, ok? If you tell your mom and your sisters about every single argument and disagreement that we have, you're setting us up for dirty looks, skewed opinions and limited potential for our ability to enjoy visiting them with you.

4. We're not conjoined twins. 
There's no need for us to go every single place that you go, and we don't expect you to go everywhere with us. That's what makes our time together special. We each had our own likes and dislikes before we met. You did things alone or with your girls, and that's fine. Don't try to drag your man with you if it's going to be nothing but you and the girls talking. We don't want to sit and listen to talk about hair, nails, fashion, who's man is cheating on who, etc. Just shoot us first, if that's the case.

5. We aren't in prison or on parole.
Parolees have to give an account of where they're going, where they've been and with whom pretty much continually. Parole officers check to see if the parolees actually report to work. Relationships are supposed to have more trust than that. If a man feels that he's not being trusted, and he hasn't done anything deserving of the interrogation process (Bad Cop), then don't expect to have him around too much longer. We usually see this trait among the insanely jealous. Having said that, if there's going to be a delay for a good reason we'll let you know out of courtesy and to ease your concern and you should do the same.

6. Miss Independent.
Call it ego, male insecurity, whatever you like. We're in it for more than just sex. Seriously. Let us do some man stuff - was that misogynistic? If you keep telling a man (and showing him, too) that you can do everything on your own, then what do you need him for? Now we wonder if it's about money - what? Give us a hand up here with the ego, didn't we just tell you that you look gorgeous?

7. Cling Wrap.
We do want a grown woman who can handle her business, but still let us know that there's a place in her life for us that only we can fill. You're not a child (or do you act like one?), and we don't expect to treat you like one or take care of you like one. If you come to a guy for every single thing and can't seem to make up your mind or make simple decisions ... well, one day he make make up his mind and not come back. That's not a contradiction to #6. If it is for you, reread it until it makes sense.

8. If you can't say anything nice.
Sure, we mess up from time to time (sometimes in close time intervals). But how about some props now and then? Can't your man do anything right? We're not talking about being patronizing or treating him like a kindergarden kid keeping his colors inside the lines ("Way to go, Donnie!"). There's not a sentient person alive who can stand always being criticized, put down in front of others, etc. Shrinks call this "positive reinforcement." Men call it "give us a break." We want you to support us and be our cheerleader (outfit optional).

9. Back to the future. 
We've all made mistakes. The thing is to learn from them, not live in them. If your man made a mistake, and you've agreed to forgive him for it, then do that. Get over it, you don't have to reload that ammo for every conflict. Don't bring it up and keep beating him over the head with it.
get some original material. If you keep bringing up the past then be prepared to talk about your man
in the past tense, as in "ex."

10. His friends.
Don't throw them under the bus with your boyfriend drama. They may not be your friends, but don't dog them out. He knew them before he knew you. He knows how they are. If one (or more) of his friends are players, he knows this already. You don't have to remind him of that. If you insist on making negative comments about them, what you're really doing is showing your insecurity and, in a more subtle way, expressing a lack of trust. If he's with you and everything is going right then don't sweat his friends.

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Misogyny and Misandry Part I Misogyny

Misogyny Sucks

Part 1 of 2. Ok folks, let's look at these problems at a very simple level. There's a war being waged out there between the sexes.

Misongyny, at its base level is a very narrow view of, ingrained in every decision and butthurt driven dislike and sometimes outright hatred of women.

The current movement seems to be going in two main directions for men disenfranchised with feminism (they will usually say RADICAL feminism) and Western women in general.

First, there's MGTOW - Men Going their Own Way. These gentlemen typically, but not always, choose to disavow dating and any unnecessary contact with women - their emotions and sometimes bank accounts having been burned to rubbish by one or several bad choices in a partner. I would place myself almost there were it not for a handful of ladies I feel pretty certain wouldn't act with malice regarding their male partner (yes, I made some bad choices). The MGTOW movement in concert with other Men's Rights Activists (MRAs) are experiencing a huge surge in popularity. What this means for Western Society is a sharp decline in marriage rates, having children, monogamy and fidelity (read family and kids). From a population standpoint, this isn't a good thing. For the man scorned, it's a win and freedom from drama, responsibility and a shield for his emotional state. I'm not advocating marriage, mind you, not at all. Do a YouTube search for MGTOW to see the current thought.

Most MGTOW men will point out the double standards they feel are placed on them - it's okay for women to belittle men, make them look like idiots and toss them aside when they aren't getting what they want. I agree and I get it. Men are expected to be in touch with their feminine side but tolerate the rough, arrogant snipes from women. Been there, got the t-shirt and even that was the wrong size.

The second branch deIdiot running rampant is PUA (pick up artist) and "game". The idea behind game being maximize the potential for sexual encounters by building a harem and building it with manly artistry. It's all about the guys hardcore with this crowd and don't dare contradict them lest they gang up on you like a zebra corpse in front of hyenas. I have that t-shirt too, also the wrong size.

Jeans and t-shirt kind of guy

A bevy of assorted pickup tactics, lines, rules and opinion rule the day and they have their Godfathers - Roosh V (Google that name long with PUA and game) is one. One of the biggest sites supporting this agenda is ReturnOfKings.com, They have some decent life hacks and occasionally decent advice but under nearly EVERY article and thread runs the dark, oily undercurrent of the He Man's Woman Hater Club.

Why? Well, for the reasons I delineated for MGTOW and because they aren't getting their way. It's that simple. I have to agree with some of their thoughts: don't let a woman run over top of you, don't let her change you, dictate your hair style, choose your friends, get rid of your habits - but those things are good advice for any relationship, it's not specific to only women. This is just good advice in general when dealing with people. No, I can't align myself here either.

What's the solution? For those of you old enough to understand the Golden Rule it's easy: treat others the way you want to be treated. Always. If someone doesn't give you that respect regularly - walk. The strongest position you can be in is the same as in business - the ability to walk away. I'm not saying break up with your woman or man if they get a little out of range but if you get a steady diet of that crap, it's time to go. Save yourself.

Part 2 soon but it's going to end the same way,

Be excellent to each other.

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Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married | CNS News

Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married | CNS News

Article link

This is a bit lackluster for engaging video but the vlog itself is quite good.


Go ahead and read the article first, listen to the video and follow my comments below.


For me, this is a great example of shaming via a bid to engage young men to dive into the government sponsored contract known as marriage.


In an oped for the Washington Times, Janice Shaw Crouse writes “Far too many young men have failed to make a normal progression into adult roles of responsibility and self-sufficiency, roles generally associated with marriage and fatherhood”. The measure of an adult man is apparently his willingness to buy into the marriage and fatherhood tradition.


"The high percentage of bachelors means bleak prospects for millions of young women who dream about a wedding day that may never come. “It’s very, very depressing,” Crouse told CNSNews.com. 'They’re not understanding how important it is for the culture, for society, for the strength of the nation to have strong families.'", the article says. This story is tailor made for women and an attempt at a guilt trip for the men. 


What's wrong with these guys anyway? Who wouldn't want to engage in a contract that fails by a factor of over half and 70% of those contracts broken by the woman in the marriage? Sounds like a good gamble, doesn't it?


The men in this age bracket, as well as older men, have grown up with divorce. They've seen the devastation, depression, disillusionment and demise of matrimony.


“And that means the girls have to live by the guys’ demands. And that means less romance. They don’t date. The girls, I have talked to numerous young women, lament the fact that they don’t have the opportunity to dress up and go out for an event.” - wow, poor darlings, they can't play princess and dress up because the number of female college students is now at 60% creating an ample supply but not as much demand.


Here's the crux of the issue: "But men are not entirely to blame for the steep decline in marriage, Crouse pointed out. 'A lot of women fear marriage. While feminism is a spent force, the ultimate consequences of that philosophy is a whole generation of women who don’t want any man to tell them what to do, and don’t really understand the give and take that is necessary for a marriage relationship.'". 


Make no mistake, I am all for equality across the spectrum but these men have grown up in a society where it's funny to make men look like idiots in TV shows, commercials and other media not to mention in society. Overwhelmingly men are portrayed as hapless buffoons while the women shake their heads, "you silly man, let me show you how it's done". 


You think there isn't a problem with the women on talk shows having a big laugh over the woman that cut her husbands member off and running it through the garbage disposal? Let a man cut off a woman's privy parts and tell me how funny that is.


It's not going to work and it's going to get worse. Take a look at Japan's crisis with marriage, sex and a declining population.


More and more men are choosing the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) lifestyle rather than the bondage of marriage.


Why should these guys get married? Sounds like Total ManSense to me.

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Triumph in the Face of Adversity

Right now many people are facing tough times.  Life as we once knew it has changed and we may find ourselves confronting situations we have never dealt with before.

 While we might not be able to control things that are occurring in the world, we can control how we react to what is happening.  Specifically, we can control how we use our minds and thoughts to get through difficult circumstances.  The following are simple steps that will not only help you handle any challenges, but will allow you to move through them to achieve success.

             Remember this too shall pass – Sometimes when we are faced with tough times we feel as if they will never end.  We can’t see ‘the light at the end of the tunnel’ to that time when our problems are resolved.  It seems as if we will always have to deal with the difficulty.  This can be a very negative attitude to adopt because it leads to a sense of hopelessness – why bother trying to change things because it won’t make a difference anyway.  Now is the time to remember that, as with most things in life, this too shall pass.  You will find another job, business will pick up, the pain and grief will subside.  As you realize that this challenging time will be replaced by a brighter tomorrow, you will find it easier to take the necessary steps to resolve your situation.

             Consider past successes – Often when we are dealing with a difficult situation we develop amnesia about our past.  Unless you are one of a privileged few, you have successfully overcome prior challenges in your life.  Think about past events when you’ve been tougher than your problems.  It will help you realize that deep within, you have the strength and fortitude to move beyond this demanding time.

             Determine your personal success strategy – As you recall those times when you’ve triumphed over trouble, consider what strategies you used to accomplish it.  Each of us has many successful strategies that we’ve used in our past.  However, we often forget to pull out those strategies during those times that we can most benefit from them.  Determine what worked for you before and apply those successful ideas now.  You will find it much easier to handle any adversity you may be facing.

             Handle day-to-day challenges, but envision your goal – When we go through difficult times it is easy to get bogged down in the minutiae of the situation and forget where we are headed.  Take time out to envision what life will be like when the situation has reached a successful outcome.  Handle the day-to-day details such as making follow-up phone calls, finding new ways to market yourself or your business, solving daily problems, but always remind yourself of how things will look and feel when you are triumphant.  This will provide you with the motivation to continue taking action and it will also help you maintain a positive attitude.

             Find a support system – When we are struggling with major challenges it is very difficult to consistently stay upbeat.  We don’t get the position, we lose the sale, the expenses continue to pile up as the money gives out.  This is the time when we need others to help us remain focused and optimistic.  Call a confidante who can see the bright side when you can’t.  Talk to a trusted friend who will help you leave your ‘pity party’ and take action once again.  There are times when even the strongest and most positive of us need others to help us navigate through the trials of trouble.

             Focus on what is right in your life – When we are confronted by problems it is very easy to let them control our perspective on life.  We spend much time and energy focusing on what is wrong and very little time thinking about what is right.  On a daily basis, come up with a list of things that are good in your life, things for which you can be grateful even as you travel this tough road.  It will help you realize that even though the world may seem to be falling apart around you, you still have many positives in your life.

 Follow these steps whenever you find yourself facing life’s bumps, detours, or valleys.  They will not only help make the journey easier, but they will lead the way to your ultimate triumph.

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Now and Zen - The Broken Glass

How many times have you gotten upset because someone wasn’t doing their job, because your child isn’t behaving, because your partner or friend isn’t living up to his or her end of the bargain?

How many times have you been irritated when someone doesn’t do things the way you’re used to? Or when you’ve planned something carefully and things didn’t go as you’d hoped?

This kind of anger and irritation happens to all of us — it’s part of the human experience.

Several things that irritate me are when people talk during a movie, cut me off in traffic, chew with their mouth open, and mangling the pronunciation of words like "nuclear" and "jewelry". Actually, I have a lot of these little annoyances — don’t we all?

It isn’t always easy to find peace when you’ve become upset or irritated.

Let me let you in on a little secret to finding peace of mind: see the glass as already broken.

The cause of our stress, anger and irritation is that things don’t go the way we like, the way we expect them to. This is all part of our need to control or micro-manage every facet of our lives and environment. How many times this has been true for you?

And so the solution is simple: expect things to go wrong, expect things to be different than we hoped or planned, expect the unexpected to happen and accept it.

Here's a suggestion for complete reboot of your mindeset with respect to disappointment. Expect things to go wrong — they always do. Remind yourself and those around you to see it as part of the adventure.

This works like a charm. When you inevitably take the wrong exit on the interstate, or when it rains on the day you go camping, or you forget your cellphone and realize it halfway to work; just remind yourself that it’s part of the adventure! You'll find yourself increasingly less bothered by life's hurdles.

So, when the nice glass you bought inevitably falls and breaks, someday, you might get upset. But not if you see the glass as already broken, from the day you get it. You know it’ll break someday, so from the beginning, see it as already broken. Be a time-traveler, or someone with time-traveling vision, and see the future of this glass, from this moment until it inevitably breaks.

When it breaks, you won’t be upset or sad — because it was already broken, from the day you got it. And you’ll realize that every moment you have with it is precious.

Expect your child to mess up — all children do. And don’t get so upset when they mess up, when they don’t do what they’re “supposed” to do … because they’re supposed to make mistakes.

Expect your partner to be less than perfect. Expect your friend to not show up sometimes.

Expect things to go not according to plan.

Expect people to be rude sometimes.

Expect coworkers not to come through sometimes.

Expect roommates not to wash their dishes or pick up their clothes, sometimes.

Expect the glass to break.

And accept it.

You won’t change these inevitable facts — they will happen, eventually. And if you expect it to happen — even see it as already happening, before it happens — you won’t get so upset.

You won’t overreact. You’ll respond appropriately, but not overreact. You can talk to the person about their behavior, and ask them kindly to consider your feelings when they do this … but you won’t get overly emotional and blow things out of proportion.

You’ll smile, and think, “I expected that to happen. The glass was already broken. And I accept that.”

You’ll have peace of mind. And that, my friends, is a welcome surprise.

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Become a Human Lie Detector, a Primer on Subterfuge

What does deception detection have to do with Peace of Mind? Glad you asked. How many times have you wondered if, or later found out that someone lied to you and you reacted with anxiety or felt overwhelmed at least momentarily. Lying is a big part of this game called life and whether or not you're playing along, you're still in the game. It pays to be armed with the truth and the means to ferret it out.

Once you realize that you’re being lied to, should you confront the liar immediately? Usually not. The best approach is to note the fact in your mind and continue with the conversation, trying to extract more information. Hold as many cards in your hand as possible at all times. Lack of real Peace of Mind springs from a perceived lack of control.

Once you confront someone who has lied to you, the tone of the conversation changes and gathering additional facts becomes difficult. Therefore, wait until you have all the evidence you want and then decide whether to confront the person at that time or hold off to figure how you can best use this insight to your advantage.

The Basics

Body Language
• The person will make little or no eye contact. A person who is lying to you will do everything to avoid making eye contact. The reverse is also true, having the non-blinking stare is another indicator.
• Physical expression will be limited, with few arm and hand movements. What arm and hand
movements are present will seem stiff, and mechanical. Hands, arms and legs pull in toward
the body; the individual takes up less space.
• His hand(s) may go up to his face or throat, especially to the mouth. But contact with his body is limited to these areas. He is also unlikely to touch his chest with an open hand gesture. He may also touch the nose or scratch behind the ear.
• If he is trying to appear casual and relaxed about his answer, he may shrug a little.

Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction
• The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the verbal
statement (“I am so angry with you right now” … pause … and then the angry expression), it llooks false.
• The head moves in a mechanical fashion without regard to emphasis, indicating a conscious
movement.
• Gestures don’t match the verbal message, such as frowning when saying “I love you.” Hands
tightly clenched and a statement of pleasure are not in sync with each other.
• The timing and duration of emotional gestures will seem off. The emotion is delayed coming on, stays longer than it should, and fades out abruptly.
• Expression will be limited to the mouth area when the person is feigning certain emotions –
happiness, surprise, awe, and so on – rather than the whole face.

Interpersonal Interactions
When we are wrongfully accused, only a guilty person gets defensive. Someone who is innocent will usually go on the offensive.
• He is reluctant to face his accuser and may turn his head or shift his body away.
• The person who is lying will probably slouch; he is unlikely to stand tall with his arms out or outstretched.
• There’s movement away from his accuser, possibly in the direction of the exit.
• There will be little or no physical contact during his attempt to convince you.
• He will not point his finger at the person he is trying to convince.
• He may place physical objects (pillow, drinking glass, etcetera) between himself and his
accuser to form a barrier, with a verbal equivalent of “I don’t want to talk about it,” indicating
deception or covert intention.

This is enough to get you thinking and observing. Remember that every person is different in their reactions to telling a lie. It is critical to establish a baseline of behavior by asking pointed questions you know the answer to and observing their behavior, then noting the differences when the heat is on.

From my Peace of Mind Group on Facebook here.

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Relationships 101 For the Men, Women and Manipulation

We're at a serious deficit from jump when it comes to our sexual obsession towards women. Usually men are better with the brute strength side of desperate measures. Picture a scene some 130,000 years ago when Neanderthal ruled the land. He came, he saw, he conquered for quite some time including dragging off whatever female he wanted, presumably by the hair of her head. Those days are over, fellas.

Now, thanks to following the Code of Hammurabi and the more recent Masonic code, we have laws to prevent such activities today. Except for some Middle Eastern countries, getting sex by threat of violence is pretty much non-existant and, personally, I'm down with that.

Civilized man has to get sex the hard way, and that puts him at the mercy of women's unpredictable moods and whims. If a woman doesn't want to put out, what are you gonna do? Rape her? Yeah, good luck getting away with that, Genius. What kind of asshat are you anyway?

A woman's last resort strength, her sexuality, is perfectly legal and works like a charm. Having said that, sexuality isn't even her best weapon. The award winner here is her manipulative little mind.

Women's wants and how the relationships fail:

Often, when it comes to choosing a mate, women aren't the most levelheaded. Shockingly, most of the men women end up marrying invariably fail to measure up to their White Knight childhood fantasies. The first few years of marriage are spent trying to hone their man's "rough edges," subtly, or not so much, trying to "domesticate" him until he acts less like himself, and more like the kind of guy they really wanted to marry (but didn't want to go out and actually find).

Toward that end women don't just use their body parts to get what they want. Rather they use their crafty minds, too. It being the case that men can't think straight around women they like, a crafty daughter will take advantage of that confusion, it's just kicking a guy when he's down.

The Manipulated Man

Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil and David DeAngelo got nothin on what I'm about to reveal here.

Women can often effortlessly and significantly change a man's behavior by using a few standard conditioning methods. These methods work on either sex equally well, but generally require the kind of persistence, patience and underhanded craftiness that few men can muster, or sustain. Yet it's precisely that kind of mental voodoo that women excel at.

First, there is Classical conditioning. This is where women get men to associate one behavior with another. For example, if a woman gives her man a blow job every time he buys her jewelry, he will begin to associate the two and, in no time, the mere thought of buying her jewelry finds him sportin' a woody. How Pavlovian of us, right guys? We ARE a simple lot.

The second kind of conditioning makes someone associate a particular behavior with a particular consequence. For example, when a man stays out all night with his boys, the woman, who wants to discourage this "terrible" behavior, withholds sex. Assuming he doesn't pack his bags and leave (like he should), the man soon learns that if he wants to get laid, he'd better come home on time. This is called operant conditioning, but is more commonly referred to as "pussy-whipping."

Another common form of manipulation is "passive-aggressive" behavior. In a nutshell, when a woman wants her man to do something, like buy her a new car, she doesn't come right out and tell him what she wants. (That would be effective, but wouldn't make him jump through any prove-you-love-me hoops.) Instead, she drops periodic hints under the assumption that, since her man says he loves her, he can pick up her clues and figure out what she wants without her asking. If he fails, she will, quite illogically, assume that he doesn't love her.

The main flaw in this approach is that it overestimates men. They are just not perceptive enough to notice most signals a woman uses short of slapping. Another woman might be able to decode her veiled suggestions, but men simply aren't equipped with the right emotional sensors to piece together her 100,000-piece all-blue-sky jigsaw puzzle. Again, we ARE a simple lot and NO, we really DON'T know what you're thinking!
Women could avoid a lot of disappointment if they'd just say, "Honey, I want you to buy me a car" in the first place. Sure, it's not as romantic as if the car came from the goodness of her man's heart, but it sure as hell beats walking, right?

The War Against Men Why Women are Winning

This natural obliviousness is man's one defense. Manipulation is useless against subjects too dumb (or, is it too crafty?) to do what they're supposed to do. So use this innate ignorance to your advantage: Ignore her. Ultimately, even if you bust your ass and actually succeed at fulfilling her every need, she'll do what anyone would do: She'll make up new ones and then more new ones.

Rarely is anything ever good enough for crafty, manipulative women, which is why most guys stop trying after awhile. You'll never succeed at making sure she "never wants for anything." Frankly, the wants of the average women are numerous. Too numerous, in fact, to discuss in a book without clear-cutting Costa Rican rain-forests for enough paper.

Stop trying. Not only does ignoring her negate any attempts to control you, it drives women freaking nuts as a bonus. And that's what tilts the Scales Of Love Injustice back to level.

More on this topic later, stay tuned.

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Dating 101 Why Women Dress Sexy

What's the deal with women and dressing up all hotified when they're out and about?

One of those age-old questions, let's investigate.

Let's think about it from the woman's perspective…

An attractive woman gets attention from men all the time, no matter how she looks or what she's wearing. Remember this, fellas.

She doesn't need to “accent” her beauty to get attention from men looking to attract beautiful women.

And the question becomes even more interesting when you consider that, most often, it's the MOST BEAUTIFUL women who go to the GREATEST lengths to enhance their beauty.

WHY?

Here a few of the reasons attractive women go to such great lengths to squeeze that “extra little bit” out of their beauty and what it means for you.

1. She Wants To Maximize Her Strengths To Attract The “Best” Men

Imagine that a beautiful woman is getting ready to go to a party.

There will be a hundred men at this party, and it follows that only a few of them will be the “best” ones.

Do you think this beautiful woman will settle for one of the average (or worse) ones running around, dropping lame lines “designed” to attract hot women?

Not a chance.

A woman wants to get the “best” man in the room. But the best man also has OPTIONS. Lots of women to choose from.

So she feels like she needs to “fix herself up” to have the BEST chance of getting THAT guy.

2. She Needs To Deal With Competition From Other Women. This is probably the top reason for putting on the hotness when going out.

Attractive women tend to be VERY, VERY competitive.

When a “hot” woman walks into a room, EVERYONE checks her out.

    It's competition, intimidation, and millions of years of evolution rolled up into one ugly, yet effective, package

Guys looks her up and down with a “let me get a good look because I'll be using her as a spank-it fantasy later” stare.

But the “best” men in the room, the ones who have REAL options, only glance quickly and make a mental note to talk to her later.

Meanwhile, the OTHER hot women in the room all look at her and give her…

THE BITCH LOOK.

Why?

Because another hot woman is instantly seen as COMPETITION. She doesn't want OTHER hot women competing with her for the “best guys.”

It's competition, intimidation, and millions of years of evolution rolled up into one ferocious package.

In order to MINIMIZE their competition, they FIX THEMSELVES UP and emphasize their good points TO THE MAX. Status and Alpha Female are the terms of the day. That's right, guys, she's not dressing up primarily for men, she's swanked out for the other women.

3. She Wants Attention And Approval

At the very core of human psychology and behavior are the concepts of ATTENTION and APPROVAL. Some evolutionary theorists think that the basic formula goes like this:

If you get more attention from others, then you and your offspring are more likely to survive and pass on your genes to future generations.

If others DON'T like you and give you attention, you are going to have a hard time finding a mate…

… and reproducing.

It just so happens that an attractive woman has a great indicator of whether or not “the group” likes and approves of her…

It's the amount of ATTENTION she gets. There may be something to the biological and evolutionary but personally I think this is about winning and ego.

If a woman is getting a lot of attention, it keeps her feeling “OK”. She knows she's accepted by the group, that she's going to stay healthy and have a good chance of mating with a “top male”.

Again, this is all about HER status as an Alpha Female. I can't overstate that dressing up is for the benefit of her own ego, so skip on the "it's her fault I came onto her, look how she was dressed" crapola.

What to do about this:

This is why, when YOU try to attract beautiful women, it's important you don't communicate to her that you are “overwhelmed by her beauty,” or chasing her, or too weak to express yourself well.

When you actively control the amount of attention you give her, you STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD.

Don't show her “approval” too quickly (maybe even show her some DISAPPROVAL)… and you've created a POWERFUL interest inside of her.

Why?

Because every guy that comes within ten feet of a hot woman can't stop looking at her. He makes it clear he would be willing to do anything for her.

So imagine what happens when she meets a guy that isn't like all these other guys AT ALL.

He acts like he's not impressed with her beauty. He even busts her balls a little. She can't tell if he likes her or not… and her systems are scrambled. She feels CHALLENGED.

Then, for some reason she can't explain, she starts to feel a GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION to him.

Women love a challenge, men.

Next, handing compliments: use them sparingly. If she asks how she looks you answer "fine" and leave it at that. That will probably raise her ire a bit and she'll begin asking what's wrong with this and that.
"Fine? What do you mean fine? Does my [insert area of her concerns in order of importance here] look okay?!" Stick with the "you look fine" deal unless she's getting obviously upset and then ratchet it up to "good". Don't kill her self-esteem, for Chrissake.

She doesn't want to hear "you're hot", "you're sexy" and all that crap. Keep it simple, honest and light. The schmucks out there are going to play THOSE kinds of games and payout lame, typical comments all night. Stand out from the herd.

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