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Are You This Cool? |
What is an Alpha Male?
Let me start out by saying that I kind of hate the term "alpha male" because so many attributes have been used to define it. Definitions run from arrogant, cocky womanizer to leader of a company or business.
In 48 years of gracing the face of this planet I have seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the Bullshit.
I'm shooting for the quintessential Man's Man, very simply just being a man. No false pretenses, just the basics. If you can be just a man, you're going to be fine. Maybe nobody has modeled this for you or you're still confused about being a man, I'm here to help.
Happiness
On the top of the list of being a man, an Alpha in my experience and view, is that he is happy on a regular basis.
He's knocking happiness out of the park at somewhere around 95%. Does he get discouraged? Sure, but he doesn't sit around and whine about it, he sucks it up, processes it, makes a decision and surges ahead like a tidal wave on crack. That's it, Leave it there, dwell on the unhappy business no longer. Man up, move on.
How does he get there? Practice. Practice accepting things as they are without getting bent out of shape at every turn. Practice. I can't say it enough. Make up your mind that you're life isn't ruined over trivial matters especially where something is out of your span of control. Adopt the attitude of survival, indifference or whatever feels like the right frame of mind. Do this repeatedly and you will become capable of reacting appropriately at every instance.
Masculinity
What is it to be male? Typical attributes would be strength, determination, courage, bravery, ever present, consistent, loyal and other historically known virtues ascribed to manhood. Think of a knight if that helps without going crazy on the chivalry, we'll address that in another post. You're a real man, act like it without the simpering neediness seen today in probably 85% of the male population.
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Can You Pull This Shit Off? Sure You Can. |
Confidence
Confidence is going boldly forward like the badass you should be. Not aggressive or cocky - confident. You got your shit together, you feel this way because you have a mission, goals, ambition. Women love this by the way. If you don't have some ambition or drive/ purpose then find it, Are you the next technology guru like Steve Jobs? A financier like Warren Buffet? An awesome front man in a band? Find it, think about it, get excited, just damn do it. Stick with it and breathe it in and out every day. Just having some focus on your drive will give you confidence. Do it.
Amplitude
He lives an abundant life, not one thing is missing: money, sex, excitement, mayhem - it's all there for the taking and he has already taken it. He feels it right to his marrow and he's still piling it on. How is he doing that? Attitude = Amplitude. As you believe and act on it, so mote it be. The simplest and best place you can be at anytime is in the right freaking NOW. Here's an exercise for you: say you're in a snit over the latest shit test your date/ girlfriend, whatever has just pulled. You got your indignation on Kill and your look on Stun. Take a breath and ask yourself this: "At this moment in time, right now, this very second - what is lacking?". Nothing. You have bills, you have drama, what have you but right THEN, right NOW you will find nothing is lacking. Adopt this mindset right away. Use the exercise and the concept will grow in you. Stress Remediation Level: Expert.
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William Wallace Stuff |
Freedom
Ah sweet freedom! Today's Alpha isn't constrained by traditional dating/ relationship rules, employment, marriages, politics or much of anything.
He operates within the law because not doing so would land him in trouble and therefore interfere with Freedom and Happiness.
Taking pleasure in making his own way on his own terms, he owns the day without fear of societal programming, stigma or bitch fest from the rest of the world.
Suggestions: if you are coming out of a relationship be it girlfriend, marriage, FB, whatever you have going on then you need to take a step back for a while and look inward at these 5 traits presented, Do you still have all 5 boiling over? Then move forward, my son, and conquer! If not, take that time and make some space for yourself, Find all of the missing pieces you had and put it back together before doing anything resembling a relationship.
Find your drive, get a job if you're unemployed, get out of your parents' house for Pete's sake - you aren't still living at home at 25 are you? If you are, get your ass in gear and get your own digs.
If you think about it, it's not so hard to be a man, it makes Total ManSense.
Peace